I’m so glad it’s 2019.

I know it’s been a while, here’s a most recent photo:

I’ve never been a believer of the saying “Things happen for a reason” but about 3 almost 4 years ago, I made the decision to return to school, I applied for my “dream school” to go back for my Masters in Nursing. It was a combined PA/NP program about 3 hours away from my hometown. It took about 3 months, after I submitted my application to even hear back whether or not I passed to the next qualification phase, and another 2 months to get notified that I made it to the final interview, there were maybe 30 of us in total who made it to the final round. The hotel was booked, my husband and I made the 3-hour drive there the night before my interview. I had my interview the next morning. During the interview, I think they really tried to scare us, “Many of our current students don’t work due to the workload of the program” and “Financial aid may be available but some students estimate taking student loans out for tuition more than estimated $100,000” …. But I was ready for all of this.

I left the interview feeling GREAT and was sure I was going to get notified that I got in to the school of my dreams. I knew that if I got in, I knew what it meant: it meant that my life would move 3 hours away from home, that I would probably not be able to work full time anymore yet let alone part time, I knew it meant sacrifices.  Yet 2 weeks later, I was notified that I didn’t get it, “Thank you for your consideration but we have chosen other more qualified candidates at this time, the new application period opens next month”. I had waited a whole year for this process, thought I was going to get in, only to get a “thanks but no thanks” email. I was devastated. I remember crying and lying in bed, feeling worthless and like it was the worst breakup in history. I was READY for the move. I was ready to leave my job to go to school full time. I was ready to make that dent in my pocket. I remembered my heart feeling heavy for a month.

But I had to move on, I knew I wanted to go back to school so I knew I had to apply elsewhere, even if it meant my dream school had denied me. So I applied. I applied to the college where I got my BSN. Got accepted within a week. So what did this mean for me? What this meant was that I was able to stay home and didn’t have to pack all my bags to go to school 3 hours away, I got to keep my job and was able to go from full time to part time to still have some income while going to school, and best news, I got a full ride scholarship! I mean, this story doesn’t scream, “Things happen for a reason” then I don’t know what else it means. Also a year into my Masters program, my husband was accepted into the police academy almost 2 hours away. I often imagine how hard it would be for me to be going to school 3 hours away and him attending the academy 2 hours away. Not to mention by my last year in school, I was pregnant with my daughter, and I don’t know how I would’ve handled being pregnant, living 3 hours away from family and my husband while going to school full time.

So the story behind this is that I’m ready to take control of my life but I also know that things really do happen for reason. I am turning 30 this year. And I don’t know why it’s such a big deal but it is. My 20’s were wonderful: I got married, had a baby, was a homeowner, achieved two degrees, and landed a great job. So what will my 30’s bring? I don’t know. But one day, if in my 30’s, I experience another devastating loss, I hope I’m able to look back and realize this, that things really do happen for a reason. And it’ll be OK at the end.

Kay